Warnings: Slight spoilers for s5.4
Disclaimer: Not real. Despite birthday wishes and night time prayers to Santa (all Hail Amy Pond!) Merlin still isn't mine!
Summary: Don't give Becker your children. Ever
Author Notes: Written for the Just Kiss Her Already drabble tag over on hurricanepixie for the prompt "Becker gets stuck babysitting someone's kids at the last minute and quickly finds out that children don't take orders or follow the chain of command. He calls Jess in as back-up!" by pink_flame_87
Hilary Becker had lived in his building for a good couple of years now. A few people had come and gone next door but it mostly stayed the same. The lady next door, Carrie Livingston, had three children all under the age of six, a boy aged six and twin girls aged three and a half. He knew their mother relatively well considering his non-relationship with the rest of his neighbours but he wouldn't ever consider them good friends.
So when she cornered him into looking after her kids because Mrs Pickett down the hall was on holiday and her father had been taken into hospital and she didn't want them to go with her. He felt for the woman, he really did; so he agreed.
He should have known that within moments they would have run rings around him rather than quietly sat down drawing like their mother had said.
They'd tied his feet together, toppling him. He swore under his breath. They always looked so cute and well behaved when he met them in the corridor.
He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He hit speed dial two, a number he knew would be answered relatively quickly, and if he'd phoned his mother she'd only have laughed at him.
"Jessica, you have to help me."
"Are you okay?"
"Can you come over as possible?"
"The spare key is-"
"In the plant pot by the door, I know. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Becker?" Jess poked her head in his front door, quickly greeted by three smiling children. She smiled back at them, "Becker?"
"Down here." She saw his arm raise up.
She gave the children a scathing look and raised her brow at them sternly. They looked at her guiltily and ran off to hide under the dining table.
"Didn't peg you as the paternal type," she said with an amused smirk as she untied the wire they had managed to loop around his ankles.
"They're not mine!"
"I gathered you weren't the type to have children when you were, what? Twenty and at Sandhurst?" she looked over at the hiding children who ducked further back, "Who's are they?"
"My neighbours, I couldn't really say no. But they didn't want to colour and I really have no idea what else to do with kids."
"Have you got any flour?"
"Mmm,for salt dough."
She scribbled out a list of ingredients and gave it to him, "Go to Tesco, I'll sort these guys out."
By the time he got back she had them sat at the table drawing out animals. She stole the bag from him and started to mix up a dough.
"Okay guys," she said taking the bowl back to them, "Now you can make your animals out of dough." She made sure to keep an eye on them, salt dough wouldn't have tasted good and she knew what kids could be like. "Come on Becker, they'll be more likely to keep it up if you join in."
"Come on, I'll make you, you make me."
"You know I failed GCSE Art right?"
"Mmhmm. It's on your file, but this is just for fun, you can make me look like the Loch Ness Monster if you like."
The kids got on with making their animals, though if anybody could tell what they were they'd be doing a good job.
Jess popped them in the oven and set the three children up painting their original drawings as the salt dough cooked.
"How do you do it?"
"My sister's seven, I'm used to distracting her for Mum when I babysit her." She smiled as the pair of them kicked back with a large glass of wine. (Another item Jess had put on the list to get from the shops.)
"You're full of surprises, you know that?"
"And your neighbour should know better than to leave you with her children."
Not long later, after sticking the cooked salt dough into the freezer to make it quickly cold enough to paint, the children were happily painting their animals in all the wrong colours. Becker was giving his salt dough Jess a pair of bright purple shoes whilst she covered hers in black. She painted his gun only changing her colour to paint his hair brown.
There was a knock on Becker front door, given that Jess had finished and Becker was still painting she offered to answer it.
"Hi, I'm looking for Hilary?"
Jess smiled,"You must be Carrie, I'm Jess, come on in, they're just finishing their animals."
When the family had finally gone the ARC pair slumped into the sofa. Becker leant forwards and refilled their glasses. He proposed a toast, "To Miss Parker, saviour and babysitter extraordinare."
"To me," she smiled, taking a sip.
Without thinking, Becker tucked his arm around her shoulders and turned the TV on in the background, the pair of them curled into each other as an old episode of some old sitcom repeated on the screen. Becker turned, his nose in her hair. He kissed the top of her head, the act she nearly missed but when he kissed her temple soon after she leant into the gesture with a smile, settling against him, not thinking about when she'd have to leave.